Ever wonder why you save money the way you do? Maybe you feel a knot in your chest, checking your balance every morning. Or perhaps you stash cash just because someone once said it’s “the right thing.” Sometimes, you might even save simply because spending feels scary.
But what if saving could feel different — lighter, brighter, and full of purpose? Imagine knowing exactly what your money is for. A dream trip. A cozy home. Freedom from debt. When you set goals that fit your life and values, every dollar saved becomes a step toward something real.
It’s not about hoarding or following rules. It’s about building the life you want, one mindful choice at a time. Take a moment. Ask yourself what truly matters — and let your savings lead you there.
Start saving with intention, and watch your dreams grow closer with every small step.
Fear-based saving often stems from financial trauma or scarcity mindset, leading to behaviors like obsessive account checking or hoarding cash without purpose. This can actually hurt your financial growth if you’re keeping too much in low-yield savings instead of investing.
Obligation-based saving happens when people save simply because they’ve been told it’s “the right thing to do” without understanding why. This can lead to stockpiling cash without clear goals, missing out on better investment opportunities.
Avoidance-based saving occurs when people save by default because they haven’t learned how to spend intentionally, potentially missing out on meaningful experiences or purchases that could enhance their lives.
The article’s key insight is that saving should be intentional and goal-oriented. Rather than saving out of fear or habit, the author recommends:
- Examining your money beliefs and their origins
- Asking yourself what you want your money to accomplish
- Aligning your financial goals with your personal values
- Being specific about what you’re saving for (vacation, home, debt payoff, etc.)
The financial therapist quoted emphasizes that when your goals align with your values, you’re more motivated to achieve them. This makes saving feel purposeful rather than burdensome.
This perspective is refreshing because it acknowledges that sometimes the “responsible” thing isn’t just to save more, but to save smarter – with clear intentions that support the life you actually want to build.
Fear-Based Saving in Singapore’s Context
Singapore’s unique position creates several layers of financial anxiety that go well beyond typical fear-based saving:
The “Kiasu” Culture Amplification: Singapore’s competitive culture (“kiasu” – fear of losing out) can transform healthy financial planning into obsessive hoarding. 44% of Gen Z and millennials in Singapore worry about not having enough emergency savings Yahoo!Insurance Business America, but this often manifests as keeping excessive cash in low-yield savings accounts rather than strategic allocation.
CPF Dependency Anxiety: While CPF provides retirement security, many Singaporeans develop an over-reliance mindset where they save obsessively in regular accounts on top of mandatory CPF contributions, often without clear purpose. This creates a “double safety net” mentality that can be counterproductive.
Housing Market Pressure: The BTO system and property prices create a specific type of fear-based saving where young Singaporeans hoard cash for years waiting for housing opportunities, potentially missing investment growth during their highest earning potential years.
Obligation-Based Saving: The Asian Family Dynamics
Singapore’s saving obligations are more complex than Western contexts:
Filial Piety Financial Pressure: The cultural expectation to support aging parents creates a saving pattern that’s often guilt-driven rather than strategic. Many save excessively “just in case” parents need support, without discussing actual needs or creating structured plans.
Inter-generational Wealth Transfer Expectations: Unlike Western contexts where inheritance is often unexpected, Singaporean families often have explicit expectations about leaving money for children, leading to over-saving at the expense of current life experiences.
“Face” and Status Saving: The pressure to maintain social standing leads to saving for status symbols (luxury goods, prestigious education for children) rather than aligned with personal values.
Avoidance-Based Saving: The Complexity Overwhelm
Gen Z shows prevalent anxiety toward long-term financial commitments and stronger inclination toward immediate gratification Decoding Attitudes Toward Finances Across Millennials and Gen Z in Singapore. | Kadence, but in Singapore this manifests uniquely:
CPF Investment Paralysis: Despite CPFIS offering various investment tools to enhance CPF savings CPFB | Investing your CPF savings, many Singaporeans default to leaving money in CPF ordinary accounts (earning 2.5%) because investing feels overwhelming, missing out on higher returns.
Analysis Paralysis from Information Overload: Singapore’s sophisticated financial sector provides numerous options (robo-advisors, unit trusts, ETFs, bonds) but many save in basic accounts to avoid decision-making complexity.
Singapore-Specific Solutions for Intentional Saving
Reframe CPF as Foundation, Not Ceiling: Instead of viewing CPF as complete retirement planning, treat it as the base layer. Build additional savings with specific purposes: travel fund, skills upgrading, emergency buffer beyond CPF.
Geographic Arbitrage Planning: Given Singapore’s high cost of living, save intentionally for “geographic arbitrage” – planning periods in lower-cost countries for extended travel, remote work, or retirement phases.
The “Kampong Spirit” Approach: Instead of individual hoarding, consider community-based financial planning. Family investment pools, group insurance schemes, or shared resources can be more efficient than everyone saving individually out of fear.
Lifecycle-Based Goals Rather Than Amount-Based: Given Singapore’s unique life stages (National Service, BTO waiting, career peak years), align saving with life phases rather than arbitrary amounts.
Values-Based Allocation:
- Heritage preservation (supporting family traditions, cultural activities)
- Skills investment (continuous learning in Singapore’s evolving economy)
- Mobility fund (options to work regionally or globally)
- Community impact (local social enterprises, causes)
The Mental Health Connection
58% of Gen Zs and 75% of millennials in Singapore rate their mental health as good or extremely good Deloitte’s 2024 Gen Z and Millennial Survey finds these generations stay true to their values as they navigate a rapidly changing world | Deloitte Southeast Asia, but financial stress remains significant. The article’s emphasis on examining emotional motivations for saving is particularly relevant given both generations report high stress and anxiety levels and remain hesitant about expressing stress to peers or employers Top Mental Health Challenges that Millennials & Gen Z Face Today – MDIS Blog.
In Singapore’s context, unhealthy saving patterns often mask deeper anxieties about:
- Career sustainability in a competitive economy
- Ability to afford a family given high costs
- Social mobility and maintaining status
- Caring for aging parents while building own wealth
The solution isn’t just better financial planning, but addressing the underlying emotional and cultural drivers that make Singaporeans save out of fear, obligation, and avoidance rather than intention and values alignment.
This requires a fundamental shift from “save more, spend less” to “save purposefully, spend intentionally” – which is particularly challenging but necessary in Singapore’s high-pressure, high-cost environment.
Scenario 1: The “Sandwich Generation” Professional
Traditional Approach (Fear/Obligation-Based): Sarah, 32, marketing manager earning $6,000/month
- Saves 40% of income ($2,400) in multiple savings accounts
- $800/month for “parents emergency fund” (they haven’t asked for money)
- $600/month for “housing fund” (already has BTO, but “just in case”)
- $500/month for “children’s education” (doesn’t have children yet)
- $500/month general emergency fund
- Anxiety increases with each news article about inflation or job cuts
- Hasn’t taken a vacation in 3 years (“cannot afford it”)
- Lives in constant stress about “not having enough”
Intentional Approach (Values-Aligned):
- Values identification: Family security, personal growth, meaningful experiences
- Strategic allocation:
- $400/month actual emergency fund (3-6 months expenses)
- $300/month parents support fund (after discussing their actual needs)
- $500/month investment portfolio (CPF-IS, ETFs for long-term growth)
- $200/month skills upgrading fund (courses, certifications)
- $300/month experience fund (travel, dining, social activities)
- $300/month future family fund
- Result: Same saving amount but purposeful allocation, reduced anxiety, better returns, improved life satisfaction
Cultural Driver Addressed: Transforms filial piety from guilt-driven hoarding to structured, communicated support planning.
Scenario 2: The “Kiasu” Parent Syndrome
Traditional Approach (Status/Fear-Based): David and Linda, parents of 8-year-old
- Save $1,500/month for child’s education in basic savings account
- Spend $800/month on tuition (because “everyone else does”)
- Plan to buy second property “for child’s future”
- Haven’t upgraded skills in 5 years (spending on child instead)
- Marriage stress due to financial pressure
- Child shows signs of anxiety about “being expensive”
Intentional Approach (Values-Aligned):
- Values identification: Child’s holistic development, family financial security, marriage quality
- Strategic reframe:
- $800/month education investment fund (diversified portfolio, higher returns than savings)
- $400/month selective enrichment (focus on child’s genuine interests, not status)
- $300/month parents’ skills fund (maintaining career competitiveness)
- Family experiences budget (strengthening family bonds)
- Communication shift: Involve child in age-appropriate financial discussions
- Result: Better financial returns, reduced family stress, child develops healthy money relationship
Cultural Driver Addressed: Challenges the “face” culture by prioritizing actual child welfare over comparative status.
Scenario 3: The “Analysis Paralysis” Young Professional
Traditional Approach (Avoidance-Based): Marcus, 26, fresh graduate earning $3,800
- Leaves $50,000 inheritance in savings account (0.1% interest)
- Saves $800/month in same account
- Knows about investments but “will research later”
- Spends on random purchases to avoid thinking about money
- CPF money sits in OA (2.5%) instead of investment scheme
- Feels guilty about not being “financially responsible”
Intentional Approach (Values-Aligned):
- Values identification: Financial independence, travel, career flexibility
- Simplified strategy:
- Emergency fund: $15,000 (4 months expenses)
- CPF-IS: Transfer $20,000 to diversified portfolio
- Robo-advisor: $15,000 (removes decision paralysis)
- Monthly automation: $500 investments, $300 experiences/skills
- Education approach: Start with simple, automated tools
- Regular review: Quarterly 30-minute check-ins, not daily monitoring
Cultural Driver Addressed: Overcomes the perfectionism culture that prevents action due to fear of making wrong decisions.
Scenario 4: The “Geographic Arbitrage” Millennial
Traditional Approach (Fear-Based): Priya, 29, tech professional earning $8,000
- Saves 50% income for “security”
- Hoards cash for “uncertain future”
- Dreams of working abroad but too scared to spend on preparation
- Lives below means but doesn’t invest or upskill
- Relationship suffers due to extreme frugality
Intentional Approach (Values-Aligned):
- Values identification: Global mobility, career growth, relationship quality
- Strategic framework:
- Base security: 6 months Singapore expenses
- Mobility fund: Skills, certifications, international networking
- Relationship investment: Shared experiences, future planning
- Investment portfolio: Geographic diversification
- “Exit strategy” fund: Support transition to lower-cost countries
- Mindset shift: From hoarding for unknown fears to building for known opportunities
Cultural Driver Addressed: Challenges the “safety first” mentality that prevents calculated risks for growth.
Scenario 5: The “CPF Misunderstanding” Couple
Traditional Approach (Obligation-Based): James and Michelle, early 30s, combined income $12,000
- Save additional $2,000/month on top of CPF “because CPF not enough”
- Keep everything in basic savings despite inflation
- Plan to “top up parents’ CPF” without discussing strategy
- Delay having children due to “financial unreadiness”
- Both work overtime to save more, affecting health and relationship
Intentional Approach (Values-Aligned):
- CPF education: Understand actual retirement projections
- Strategic approach:
- Optimize CPF-IS for higher returns
- Calculate actual retirement gap (often smaller than feared)
- Build specific funds: house upgrade, children, parents support
- Invest excess in diversified portfolio
- Prioritize work-life balance and relationship quality
- Communication: Family financial planning sessions with parents
- Timeline: Clear milestones for major life decisions
Cultural Driver Addressed: Transforms vague anxiety about retirement into specific, actionable planning.
The Emotional Breakthrough Moment
The shift happens when Singaporeans realize that:
- Fear-based saving often achieves the opposite of security – keeping money in low-yield accounts during inflation actually reduces future purchasing power
- Obligation-based saving without communication creates family stress – assuming what family members need rather than asking often leads to over-saving in some areas while under-preparing for actual needs
- Avoidance-based saving perpetuates anxiety – the complexity doesn’t disappear by ignoring it; it compounds
- Intentional saving creates both security AND freedom – when you know why you’re saving and have a plan, you can spend guilt-free on aligned values
Implementation Framework for Singapore Context
Phase 1: Cultural Unpacking (Month 1-2)
- Identify inherited money beliefs from family/society
- Distinguish between actual needs and perceived expectations
- Separate financial planning from social status
Phase 2: Values Clarification (Month 3)
- Define what “good life” means personally vs. socially
- Prioritize between competing cultural values
- Create personal mission statement for money
Phase 3: Strategic Alignment (Month 4-6)
- Match saving strategies to actual values and timeline
- Automate aligned behaviors
- Build accountability systems
Phase 4: Cultural Integration (Ongoing)
- Navigate family/social pressure with confidence
- Model intentional financial behavior
- Contribute to shifting cultural norms
This isn’t just financial planning – it’s cultural therapy that helps Singaporeans save and spend in alignment with their authentic values rather than inherited fears and obligations.
The Liberation of Wei Ming
Wei Ming stared at his bank statements scattered across his HDB dining table, the numbers blurring together in the harsh afternoon light filtering through his Yishun flat. Twelve savings accounts. Each one carefully labeled in his neat handwriting: “Emergency Fund,” “Parents Medical,” “Future Car,” “Wedding Fund,” “Investment Money,” “Holiday Fund,” “Skills Upgrade,” “House Renovation,” “Children Education,” “Retirement Top-up,” “Random Expenses,” and mysteriously, “Just In Case Fund.”
At 28, he had saved $180,000. His friends called him disciplined. His parents called him a good son. His girlfriend called him… well, his ex-girlfriend had called him obsessive before she left six months ago.
“You save like you’re preparing for the apocalypse,” Melissa had said during their last fight. “When was the last time we did anything fun without you calculating the ‘opportunity cost’?”
Now, sitting alone with his spreadsheets, Wei Ming wondered if she was right.
The Unraveling
It started with a simple question from his younger sister, Xin Yi, during their weekly family dinner at their parents’ Ang Mo Kio flat.
“Kor, you have so much money saved. Why do you still look so stressed about everything?”
Their mother, stirring the laksa, chimed in without looking up. “Your brother very responsible one. Not like some people, spend money like water.” The pointed comment was clearly aimed at Xin Yi’s recent trip to Japan.
“But Ma,” Xin Yi pressed on, “I went to Japan because I wanted to experience the culture before my friend moved back from Tokyo. Those memories are priceless. What is Kor saving all that money FOR exactly?”
Wei Ming opened his mouth to recite his usual response about emergency preparedness and financial security, but the words stuck in his throat. What WAS he saving for, exactly?
“For… for the future,” he mumbled.
“Which future?” Xin Yi asked. “The one where you’re too old to enjoy traveling? The one where you’ve forgotten how to spend money on experiences? The one where you die with a million dollars and zero adventures?”
Their father looked up from his Zaobao newspaper. “Xin Yi, don’t talk nonsense. Your brother is smart. Look at the economy now, so uncertain. Save money is correct.”
But Wei Ming found himself asking the question later that night: Which future was he really saving for?
The Awakening
Three weeks later, Wei Ming found himself in an unlikely place – a financial therapy session in a small office above a cafe in Tiong Bahru. He’d Googled “financial anxiety Singapore” during a particularly bad episode where he’d checked his bank balances seventeen times in one day.
Dr. Sarah Lim wasn’t what he expected. Instead of talking about investment strategies or budgeting apps, she asked him to close his eyes and imagine his ideal day ten years from now.
“Where are you? What are you doing? Who are you with?”
Wei Ming saw himself… still at his desk, checking bank statements.
“That’s not an ideal day,” Dr. Sarah observed gently. “That’s your current day projected forward. Let’s try again. This time, forget about money entirely. What would you WANT to be doing?”
The images came slowly: Teaching rock climbing to kids at a community center. Traveling to Bhutan with someone he loved. Having dinner with friends without mentally calculating the bill split. Learning pottery. Writing about his outdoor adventures. Living in a house with a small garden where he could grow his own vegetables.
“Now,” Dr. Sarah said, “let’s talk about your money.”
The Archaeological Dig
Over the next few sessions, they excavated Wei Ming’s financial beliefs layer by layer.
His grandmother, who had survived the Japanese occupation, used to hide money in secret compartments. “You never know when everything can be taken away,” she’d whispered to young Wei Ming, pressing crumpled notes into his small hands.
His father, who had worked three jobs to buy their HDB flat, equated saving with masculinity. “A man who cannot provide security is not a real man.”
His mother measured love through sacrifice. Every family expense was accompanied by sighs about “how expensive everything is” and pointed reminders of what the family was giving up.
The kiasu culture at school had reinforced these messages. Having the latest phone was important not for the phone itself, but for the status it signaled. Money became a scorecard, not a tool.
“So you’re not really saving money,” Dr. Sarah observed. “You’re trying to save yourself from feelings of inadequacy, abandonment, and powerlessness.”
Wei Ming felt something crack open in his chest. “But… isn’t that what everyone does?”
“Is it working for you?”
The Experiment
Dr. Sarah proposed an experiment. For one month, Wei Ming would practice “values-based spending” while maintaining his total savings rate.
First, they identified his authentic values through a series of exercises that stripped away family expectations and social pressures:
- Connection with nature and physical challenge
- Deep relationships and community
- Continuous learning and growth
- Creative expression
- Contributing to others’ wellbeing
Then came the radical part: spending money in alignment with these values, even if it felt “wasteful.”
Week 1: Wei Ming signed up for a weekend rock climbing course in Malaysia ($300). His first instinct was to cancel – the money could earn 3% in a fixed deposit. Instead, he went. The feeling of reaching the summit, the camaraderie with other climbers, the complete absorption in the present moment – none of this appeared on any spreadsheet, yet it felt more valuable than months of compound interest.
Week 2: He invited three old friends for a proper dinner at a nice restaurant ($200 total). No bill-splitting calculations, no mental notes about who ordered what. Just conversation, laughter, and the rediscovery of friendships that had withered under his financial anxiety.
Week 3: He enrolled in a weekend pottery class ($150). His parents were baffled. “What for? Can make money from pottery meh?” But as Wei Ming’s hands shaped clay on the wheel, he felt a peace he hadn’t experienced in years.
Week 4: He made a spontaneous donation to a youth outdoor education program ($500). The amount would have paralyzed him before – it wasn’t budgeted, it wasn’t “optimal,” it wouldn’t benefit him directly. But knowing that kids would get to experience the joy of climbing filled him with warmth.
The Reckoning
At the end of the month, Wei Ming analyzed his “experiment.” On paper, he’d spent $1,150 on “non-essentials.” But his life had transformed in ways that no savings calculator could measure.
He’d reconnected with his body through climbing. His friendships had deepened. He’d discovered a creative outlet that quieted his anxious mind. He’d experienced the joy of generosity.
Most surprisingly, his financial anxiety had decreased despite the spending. When money had a purpose aligned with his values, he felt more in control, not less.
But the real test came during the next family dinner.
The Confrontation
“I heard you’re taking pottery classes now,” his mother said, her tone carrying the familiar weight of disapproval disguised as concern. “Very expensive hobby right?”
The old Wei Ming would have felt shame, would have mumbled excuses, would have already mentally cancelled future classes. But something had shifted.
“Yes, Ma. It brings me a lot of joy and helps me relax after work. It’s worth the cost to me.”
His father looked up from his rice. “Joy cannot pay for house or retirement.”
“Ba, I’m still saving money every month. But I realized that saving without purpose is just fear in disguise. I was so scared of not having enough in the future that I forgot to live in the present.”
“Don’t be so philosophical,” his mother sniffed. “Money is money. Save more is always better.”
Xin Yi, who had been quietly eating, suddenly spoke up. “Actually, I think Kor is right. Remember when Ah Gong passed away? He had saved so much money his whole life, but he never got to travel to China like he always wanted. He kept saying ‘next year, when I have more money.’ Next year never came.”
The table fell silent. Their grandfather’s unfulfilled dreams hung in the air like incense smoke.
“But that’s different,” their mother said weakly.
“Is it?” Wei Ming asked gently. “How much money would have been enough for Ah Gong to feel secure enough to take that trip? Would $10,000 more have made the difference? $50,000? Or was the problem that he was trying to save away his fear instead of living according to his values?”
The Integration
Over the following months, Wei Ming redesigned his entire financial life around intention rather than anxiety.
He consolidated his twelve savings accounts into four purposeful categories:
- Security Foundation: 6 months of expenses in a high-yield account
- Growth Portfolio: Long-term investments aligned with his timeline and risk tolerance
- Values Fund: Monthly allocation for experiences, learning, and contributions that aligned with his core values
- Family Support: Transparent, discussed support for parents based on actual needs, not imagined catastrophes
The transformation rippled outward. His spending on experiences led to new friendships in the climbing community. His pottery hobby evolved into weekend workshops for stressed professionals. His conversation skills, rusty from years of financial isolation, returned as he learned to invest in relationships rather than just bank accounts.
Most unexpectedly, his career flourished. The confidence that came from living authentically translated into better performance at work. The creativity sparked by his hobbies generated innovative solutions to projects. The network he built through values-based spending led to new opportunities.
Six months after his first therapy session, Melissa texted him. She’d heard from mutual friends about his rock climbing adventures and wanted to catch up over coffee.
The New Normal
They met at the same Tiong Bahru cafe above Dr. Sarah’s office. Melissa looked surprised by the change in Wei Ming – not his appearance, but his energy. The tightly wound anxiety that used to follow him like a shadow had loosened into something more relaxed, more present.
“You seem… different,” she said, stirring her flat white.
“I am different. I learned the difference between being financially responsible and being financially fearful.”
He told her about the therapy, about the values experiment, about the family conversations. About how he still saved money, but now it served his life instead of controlling it.
“I spent our entire relationship trying to optimize for some theoretical future disaster,” he admitted. “I never stopped to ask what kind of future I actually wanted to build.”
Melissa smiled – the first genuine smile he’d seen from her in years. “And what kind of future do you want to build?”
Wei Ming looked out the window at the bustling streets of Tiong Bahru, at people living their actual lives instead of preparing for hypothetical ones.
“One where I’m not too scared to live it.”
The Ripple Effect
Wei Ming’s transformation didn’t stop with him. His sister Xin Yi started her own values-based budgeting, allocating money for travel experiences while still building long-term security. His parents, initially resistant, began to see how their grandson – Wei Ming’s nephew – thrived when the family focused less on hoarding money and more on creating meaningful experiences together.
His pottery instructor, Mrs. Chen, mentioned that more young professionals were joining her classes. “Something is changing,” she observed. “This generation is starting to understand that you can’t save your way to happiness.”
At work, Wei Ming started informal lunch conversations about financial wellness, sharing his journey from anxiety-based saving to intention-based living. His colleague Jennifer confided that she had seven savings accounts too, each one representing a different fear about the future.
“But how do you know you’re saving enough?” she asked.
Wei Ming smiled, remembering asking Dr. Sarah the same question months ago.
“Enough for what?” he’d learned to respond. “Once you know what you’re actually saving for – not just abstract ‘security’ but specific dreams and values – the answer becomes clearer. And paradoxically, you often need less money than you think because you’re not trying to solve every possible problem in advance.”
The Graduation
A year after his first session, Wei Ming sat in Dr. Sarah’s office for what they both knew would be their final appointment.
“What’s changed?” she asked.
Wei Ming pulled out his phone and showed her a photo from the previous weekend: him teaching rock climbing to a group of teenagers at a community center, their faces bright with excitement and trust.
“A year ago, I would have calculated the opportunity cost of that volunteer time – how much money I could have earned doing freelance work instead. Now I see it as an investment in the kind of person I want to be and the kind of world I want to live in.”
He paused, looking around the small office where his financial life had been reborn.
“I still save money. I still plan for the future. But now I know WHY I’m doing it, and that makes all the difference. I’m not trying to save my way out of being human anymore.”
Dr. Sarah nodded. “And how does that feel?”
Wei Ming considered the question. How did it feel to spend money on climbing gear without guilt? To take his parents out for their anniversary dinner at a nice restaurant without mentally calculating the tip percentage? To donate to causes he cared about without agonizing over the “optimal” allocation?
“It feels like freedom,” he said finally. “Not the kind of freedom that comes from having lots of money, but the kind that comes from money being a tool for your values instead of a fortress against your fears.”
As he walked out of the building for the last time, Wei Ming’s phone buzzed with a text from a college friend: “Hey, want to split a vacation rental in Langkawi next month? I know you’re usually busy saving money, but thought I’d ask.”
The old Wei Ming would have immediately calculated the cost, compared it to investment returns, and probably declined with a polite excuse about “financial goals.”
The new Wei Ming typed back: “Langkawi sounds perfect. I’ve been wanting to try some sea cliff climbing. Let’s do it.”
He hit send without checking his bank balance.
For the first time in his adult life, he didn’t need to.
Six months later, Wei Ming would post a photo from a Langkawi cliff face to his Instagram story, tagged with the caption: “The best investment I ever made was learning the difference between saving money and saving my life.” The post would be shared by dozens of friends, sparking conversations about money and meaning across coffee shops and hawker centers throughout Singapore.
But that’s another story.
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